I actually promised to myself that I wouldn't post anything negative on this blog again.. At least for now. Because let's be honest. I'm really lucky to be studying in this country. And actually in the best business program in this country. There are people who would do anything for this opportunity. And it is not that I don't acknowledge this.. It is just that my life right now is really hard. I've set the bar really high for myself when it comes to exams and grades and I don't actually want to change that! The people I'm surrounded by at my university are so ambitious and they challenge me to be better and I love it! But still it stresses me A LOT and I have to give 120% of myself to be able to keep up with them. And at the same time I have to take care of myself and my apartment. And I also live an hour outside the city, so going back and forth takes time..
Right now I feel like 24h days are not enough.. My life is a mess.. Making friends is so hard.. I'm not good at that. I don't know how to approach someone. I don't know how to show my true self to other people. And lately I've started to realize that my family was right all these years. I have some really bad personality traits and I've actually started to try to correct it.. I've been trying to be a better person but it is quite hard! People don't really acknowledge your effort.. People move so quickly. Noone waits for noone. I thought I had found true friends for once. But it looks like I was wrong.
I know this might seem really confusing. But I felt like I had to talk about how I feel right now, even though a lot of you might not even care.. I just wanted to let it out somehow.. These are my 2am thoughts lately... What are yours?
Right now I feel like 24h days are not enough.. My life is a mess.. Making friends is so hard.. I'm not good at that. I don't know how to approach someone. I don't know how to show my true self to other people. And lately I've started to realize that my family was right all these years. I have some really bad personality traits and I've actually started to try to correct it.. I've been trying to be a better person but it is quite hard! People don't really acknowledge your effort.. People move so quickly. Noone waits for noone. I thought I had found true friends for once. But it looks like I was wrong.
I know this might seem really confusing. But I felt like I had to talk about how I feel right now, even though a lot of you might not even care.. I just wanted to let it out somehow.. These are my 2am thoughts lately... What are yours?